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The most serious MannersCast EVER! Ross emails in with some heavy questions about disabilities. We talk about his situation and how to interact with the people who have lost a loved one.
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Sunday, March 09, 2008
EPISODE 61: Serious Situations
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My wife and I had a set of twins in a small town and going out in public with them resulted in a lot of questions and comments from people that we got tired of fielding. We discovered that often being a smartass, without being too rude usually worked.
If you are within sight of your car and someone askes about the cane, just point to your car and say "It gets me great parking spaces."
If you are out of sight of the car and someone asks "Hey, whats up with the cane?" you need to have several responses to use depending on the person. Such as:
"Dude, where's your cane? Don't you know what day it is? You need to go home and get your cane. Right Now!"
"The tubes on a wheelchair are too short to hide my sword in."
"Its not a cane, its a brandy flask."
"I kept bruising my knuckles on people that asked me personal questions so I started carrying this to whack them with."
Delivered with a confused look on your face - "What cane?"
"I lost a bet. If you are easily grossed out, you don't want to see what I have to do next week."
"It's a long story, but if you buy lunch/drinks/dinner I'll be happy to tell you."
While you keep walking in one breath say: "IhadanoperationthatwentwrongandI'minalotofpainandIneedthecanetowalknowandIamonmywaytopickupmypainmeds."
"It's walk like a dottering English lord day."
Motion them to lean close to you and whisper "Shh, no one is supposed to notice." Then walk away.
Point to some object the questioner is carrying - purse, hat, cap, jacket, bag, whatever and ask "Dude, whats with the 'whatever' man, you been sick?"
"There was mighty putty on the handle when I picked it up and I have been stuck with this thing for three weeks now."
"Shh, it is sleeping right now, and you don't want to see how cranky it is when it wakes up."
Have fun,
(David from the high desert wastelands of California)
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